four little pumpkins

first little pumpkin. Brooklyn Joelle. 1998

second little pumpkin. Ezekiel Cruz. 2000

third little pumpkin. Mercy. 2006
fourth little pumpkin. Judah Zion. 2008

missing

I'm missing Minnesota right now. A lot lately. But especially right now. Joe's grandma passed away this week. Such a sweet sweet lady. I know she's happy and healthy and in a better place now, and that we will see her again one day. But we're missing her. Such a gentle and quiet spirit. She and Joe's grandpa just celebrated 62 years of marriage. She leaves such a legacy.

Family will gather in Minnesota this Sunday to remember and celebrate her life. I love that we had the opportunity to live near enough to visit with all of them for a while. I wish we could be with them now. (I'm thankful that Joe can go. So grateful to his brother for purchasing his ticket to fly.) Prayers for the family are appreciated. Grieving our loss while celebrating Heaven's gain. I love to get lost in my thoughts, imagining what it must be like there.

(The image above is from my art journal last January. We were in transition, getting ready to move back to CA from MN. We were only there for six months, but part of my heart still remains.)

needing a little lift

"change" This is a print of an original mixed media painting for The Retrieval Project (http://retrievalproject.blogspot.com). Print available in my etsy shop here.

*On the trunk of the summer tree are the words, "it is usually best to embrace it and look for the beauty that it holds." SO true for me in our journey.

Needing a little lift today. Not as in face lift, although I'd be lying if I said it's never crossed my mind. No, I'm needing a lift in spirits. It comes and goes, but these last weeks have been rough. Today while the kids were watching a movie, I was online reading some blogs, checking in on facebook, catching up with friends and listening to pandora.

I came across a few things that brought some cheer to my gloomy mood. Like this post by Kelly Rae Roberts. And have you heard about The Bright Side Project? I love love love this! And this was my friend Angel's status update on Facebook earlier today: "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." – Habakkuk 2:3 (NLT)

I had breakfast with one of our pastors last week. It was so nice to go out, just the two of us, and have some adult conversation. She was very encouraging. And she gently reminded me that we are struggling right now. We're not suffering. There is a difference. To suffer is to be afflicted. Struggle is a synonym for striving, pressing on. We are faced with hard times, but we are not afflicted. And we are striving forward. Pushing through. Pressing on.

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV

celebrating Mercy

Yesterday we spent celebrating our sweet girl's birthday. Four years ago, Mercy joined our family. She is such a blessing. Warm hearted, spunky, full of wonder.

Originally Joe had only wanted two children, so after our first girl and boy, he said we were done. I loved our little family but always dreamed of having more. More than five years after our second baby, Joe shocked me with the surprise of saying we should have two more. I had surrendered my desires and didn't expect him to ever change his mind, so when he did I had to take a little time to make sure I still wanted to. We had moved on from the baby stages, didn't need to carry a diaper bag or push a stroller anymore and had given away all of our baby things. But we were very excited to welcome a new little one into our lives.

She was tiny and precious. The first week or so were a challenge, as she lost a lot of weight and wasn't eating well at first. She's still a petite little thing, but healthy as can be. She loves to sing and be silly, draw pictures and practice writing. She has a tender spot for the elderly that warms my heart. While other kids may shy away, she will talk to them and show them things and give them stickers.

Here she is just a few minutes old.

Brooklyn was 8 and Zeke was 6 when she was born. They were so excited to meet their baby sister and help take care of her. I love this shot of them meeting her for the first time, caught by our sister and doula, Sarah.

A little older here, this is the face I'd see in the mornings when I'd go in to get her out of her crib.

My dad is a retired Navy sailor. I love this sweet picture of her in the dress he sent.

camping in Yosemite

Joe's mom has taken pictures of all 10 grandchildren in this bucket when they're between 8-10 months old. She brings it as a carry on on flights from Colorado to wherever the grandbabies are.

Fast forward to the present. This is Mercy yesterday morning opening cards and gifts before breakfast.

We planned to go to a pumpkin patch for the day, but since it was rainy, plan B was to see the double feature of Toy Story and Toy Story 2. I stayed home with Judah while Joe took Mercy with her big brother and sister. Joe took this photo of the kids and their cousins who met them there.

And here's our silly girl gettin' down in the rain on her birthday.

Some good friends of ours had a baby the same day, right down the hall from us at the hospital. This is Mercy and Alijah at around seven months old.

And here they are now. We went to their house last night for a birthday dinner celebration.

in my head today

This song has been in the rotation at Starbucks a lot lately. It always makes me smile, and then I catch myself singing the words for the rest of the day. It's been in my head all day today, so I thought I'd share it here so you can join me and sing along. Today I'm dedicating this song to Joe. Things are a bit uncertain right now (again)... finances, job stability (come on people, get tattooed!)... but I know one thing. that I love you. xo

remember the good

Last week I was met with an unkind comment that left me offended and a bit bummed out for a while. Maybe because the truth hurts. But for goodness sake, no matter now tired someone looks, they don't need you to tell them so. It just isn't nice. For some reason I couldn't shake that remark for the rest of the day. I realized later, when I really thought about it, that I'd received at least three really nice compliments after the not-so-nice statement. Why couldn't I focus on those, and let the other one go? I don't have an answer to that, but I did decide to take some creative action to help combat those negative words. Positive words can have power too.

I had a journal that hadn't been written in yet, and decided to use it to record the nice things that people say to me. So that night I wrote down the three compliments I remembered from earlier in the day. The next night I did the same. I decided the nice things can come from things people say in person, on the phone, facebook comments, blog comments.. really anywhere. After just a few days of doing this, I have filled some pages in my journal. So now when I get stuck on some careless remark that someone makes, I can look in my little book and choose to remember the good.

An amazing duo, my sister and brother-in-law, collaborated on this lovely crown as a gift for me last week. They gave it to me on the night before my birthday. We were picking up our kids from theater rehearsal, and I had already showered, put on pajamas and was ready for bed. The card that accompanied the giftwas so so sweet and so thoughtful. I put on the crown and somehow felt a little bit royal. I realize that lately I usually have dark circles and/or bags under my eyes, but a kind gesture or compliment can do wonders for lifting a tired countenance. I took this picture that night when I got home. Tired, yes. Maybe even exhausted, and definitely sleepy. But their kindness added a little spark to these tired eyes.

This reminds me of a Bible verse my sister-in-law and I memorized together years ago and that I try to put into practice daily:

"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act." Proverbs 3:27

adventure playground + giveaway winner

Last weekend our oldest daughter turned 12. As much as she's growing and changing and entering new stages, she's still a kid who loves to play and get messy. And I LOVE that.

I'd heard about Adventure Playground before and thought it sounded fun, but if I'd known it was this incredible, I'd have been taking the kids long before now. We had other plans for the day, but when they fell through at the last minute, it was decided we'd spend the day here. I think we were ALL thrilled with the way the day turned out. SO much fun. So inspiring. (You can click on pictures to enlarge for detail.)

This is a place where you don't just play on the playground equipment... you get to help build it! You can hammer, saw, paint, and let your imagination run wild. So so great.

Mercy was the princess of this castle. I so want a castle like that in our back yard!

This was an old row boat. For a while the little ones had fun playing inside it, then they took to painting the outside. They use tempera paint, which is washable, so it not only comes out of clothes, but when it rains, I imagine the "canvases" of the playground are wiped clear, for new masterpieces to be created.

I was so inspired as I looked around and noticed all the beauty. And as I watched our kids, strangers' kids, lots and lots of kids.. building, creating, taking pride in their work and so excited and empowered because they weren't given limits. They were able to imagine and transform the space to their hearts content. Now I'm on a mission to gather materials and allow some free creating to happen in our back yard. The kids had already started on a tree house, complete with rope ladder.

Now we're inspired to create a whole new play space.

On to the winner of a print from my shop:

Brooklyn helped me. All names went into a bowl, and very carefully...

she chose a winner...
and the winner is:

Jamie PA said...

I am inspired to make the most out of this day as I hear about a young friend of mine agonizing with the return of his aggressive cancer.

Jaime, send me an email letting me know which print you'd like, along with your address and I'll get them off to you asap!