I have received several thoughtful comments lately to my posts about my current struggles at home (see unravelled, you hold my world and forgiveness). Yesterday Daniele said at the end of her comment, "I hope you're well and healing and finding peace." Thank you, all of you, who have prayed for us, left comments, expressed love and concern, etc. It means so much to me. For reals.
"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love." -Jane Austen
I haven't shared details of what's going on because I don't think this is an appropriate place to vent my hurts, regrets, frustrations, etc. I will, however, share how I'm getting through it and give updates from time to time.
It's been about six weeks since Joe moved out. It's really been a whirlwind, but God has held me steady and given me peace in the midst of this storm. Last week (the day before my birthday) I was served divorce papers. It seemed like such a slap in the face at the time, but really the timing turned out to be ok. That night the kids and I got together with some very dear friends who were in the area, visiting from Minnesota. We had a wonderful evening with them, and the next day was my birthday. I woke up full of hope and had a fun morning at work, then met with my sister for a quick coffee date before going to lunch with some friends. Later I took my kids out for gelato, and overall it was a day full of blessings. (I also received three bouquets of flowers!) The day after, I went away for the weekend with my sisters and my mom to the
Aglow national conference. It was the first time the four of us have done something like this together and it was so so good. We enjoyed each other's company, laughed good hearty laughs, and enjoyed the presence of the Lord together. What was hurtful a few days before seemed like "light and momentary troubles" (see 2 Corinthians 4:17) in light of who God is and how much He loves little ol' me. His promises are still true and I will praise Him through this storm.
I was looking at something yesterday and saw this definition for the word forsaken (or forsook): "to give up (something once held dear)". It hurts to be forsaken. I do have regrets. I am sad. My heart breaks for my kids. There were some rough days this week, and I'm sure there are still more ahead. But I have hope. I have peace. I have confidence that my kids and I are being held tightly in the arms of our Father God. (Psalm 91) I trust that He will take care of us and never let us go. He loves with such a perfect, unending love. He is good. All the time.
I also turn on worship music right after I set down my keys when I come in the door, and first thing in the morning. I should figure out how to make a playlist and include some current favorites in a post... but these are some albums I've been enjoying lately:
Healing Waters (Klaus),
Consumed (Jesus Culture),
Worth it All (Rita Springer). It really helps to be constantly surrounded by music that lifts up my spirit and takes my mind from my circumstances into His presence.
I am well and healing and finding peace. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all the love and support. I am living loved.
