dreadiversary

One year ago today, I was on a plane to Portland with Joe to get dreadlocks. Something I'd wanted for a long time, a surprise trip planned by him.  Today things are very different.  Even during that trip, things were not quite right, but I didn't realize at the time how dreadfully different our lives would be today.  I say dreadfully because it is truly a tragedy when a marriage ends (and partly because I'm a big dork and love puns).  But God has stepped in, in such an amazing way, and I can say with all honesty and gratitude that He has given me amazing peace and joy in the last year.  Our divorce was final on March 30.  Just a few days later Joe remarried.  It's been a whirlwind of a year, that's for sure.. but I have a lot to be thankful for.

Here are a few pictures of my dreads when I had them.  I loved them, and it would have been nice if they lasted... but I'm content with my unruly mane.

Wow.  While these photos were uploading, two songs played from my ipod.  The first resonated with my spirit.  I keep praying to be completely humble and for God's will to be done.  

Shoot.  I just checked youtube and couldn't find a video for the first song.  (It's an oldie.)  Here are the lyrics:

Humble Me by Cheri Keaggy

Humble me
Help me be
In a right place with You
Where I look in Your face
And I'm touched by Your grace
And I see You for who You are

Humble me
Help me be
In a right place with You
Where my heart can rejoice
At the sound of Your voice
And I know You for who You are

A holy God, full of glory
Full of love for me
A loving God, full of mercy
In Your will is where I want to be

As the song played, I listened and my heart sang along in full agreement.  Part of my morning prayer time includes the end of Psalm 139: Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  (Psalm 139:23-24, NIV)

The next song that came on seemed like a response from God's heart to mine:



God is so good!  The perfect Lover of my soul.  I think I'll bask in that love all day!

faint not.

Just discovered this tonight.  I love the mellow sound and lyrics full of truth and hope.  So far my favorites are Psalm 46 and Holding on to Hope.  Enjoy!

*Edited Friday morning to add this next song, "This is Just So Beautiful". I love it. Yesterday is gone. His mercies are new every morning!

it is well

I've been pretty quiet in this space for a while, and when I finally speak up, I get the chance to live out what I say.  The other day I posted (no power here) about being unaffected by circumstances and standing firm in God's grace.  And what a week this has been!  I was talking to my sister yesterday about what's happening.  I told her that I know God has this, and that everything is going to be ok... I just don't know what that looks like yet.  I've read the book of Job, and I know how his story ended.  He was blessed beyond what he could have ever imagined, and God repayed far more than what was taken from him.  But the struggles he went through to get there... ugh!  I immediately thought of this song from Shrek the musical (which is the current most frequently requested album in our car).

 

In the third verse, Fiona rips out pages from the storybooks and says, "No one needs these middle bits!"  That's how I feel right about now.  I know my story is going to end well.  Probably better than I can imagine.  Man or no man.  That's not the focus... it's not the prince I'm after.. It's the King.  And He's with me every step of the journey, all through the waiting to see how my story turns out, and all through the struggles.  He is here.  And His grace is sufficient for me.

Yesterday I read this in Hebrews 10:22-24, Amplified:

22  Let us all come forward and draw near with true (honest and sincere) hearts in unqualified assuranceand absolute conviction engendered by faith (by that leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness), having our hearts sprinkled and purified from a guilty (evil) conscience and our bodies cleansed with pure water.23  So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish andconfess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word.24  And let us considerand give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities

And this morning this in Proverbs 3:3-6, Amplified:

3  Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart. 4  So shall you find favor, good understanding, and high esteem in the sight [or judgment] of God and man. 5  Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insightor understanding.6  In all your ways know, recognize, andacknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. 

Whatever comes, I can stand strong in Him.  My loving Father sees the end from the beginning, and He's with us through all these middle bits.  He is my peace.  I need to keep my focus and rest in Him.

A dear friend sent me a link the other day to a youtube video of Wintley Phipps singing Amazing Grace.  It included some background on the song, and it was such a touching video.  I sent it on to my sister, and she found this one and encouraged me to watch it.  When we were young, we used to sing out of the hymnals in church, and whenever we sang this one and we were standing next to each other, we'd sing "it is swell with my soul" and giggle.  I love what he says before he sings, "It is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given in compensation for what you’ve been through."  Wow.  God is good.  It is well with my soul.