no power here

My daughter Brooklyn and her cousins just finished performing in The Wizard of Oz through our local community college.  My beautiful niece Melody Joy played the part of the good witch, and she fit the role perfectly.  Melody has this sweet way about her, bringing joy and light wherever she goes.  My sister Michelle saw the play before I did, and told me to watch closely and really tune in to this one particular scene.  Melody came out onto the stage so lovely and sparkling, full of grace and poised so beautifully.  The bad witch showed up in all her evil glory and scared the munchkins and threatened Dorothy.  But Glinda (Melody) remained perfectly calm and cheery.  She laughed her sweet laugh and said, "Silly witch, you have no power here."  And she was unaffected by the taunting of the evil one.

Michelle said she immediately thought of me when she saw that, and said that I've been walking with grace through this season but there have been things that trip me up a little bit and attempt to steal my joy.  Times when I've been fearful and times when I've given into the lies of feeling unworthy, unlovable, unattractive, uncertain, unaccepted and disqualified.  I need to remain peaceful and full of good cheer.  Resting in that blessed assurance of knowing that Jesus is mine (and I am His!).  When I abide in Him, I know that I'm covered.  Nothing that tries to come against me can steal my peace or my joy.  There is such comfort in that.  His spirit in me helps me to keep going, to embrace friendliness instead of bitterness, to offer hope to others, and assurance to my little munchkins that (because of God's love and protection) everything is going to be okay.

I've been marinating in Psalm 37 for the last week or two.  I love reading different translations, and this one is particularly good in the Amplified.  It's extra wordy, but I love that.  It is full of promise and full of hope.  And I love that every time it talks about the righteous, it is preceded by either [uncompromisingly] or [consistently] righteous.  Good reminder to stay on track.  I don't need to worry about what anyone else is doing.  I just fix my eyes on Jesus and walk with Him.  Whether this path takes us through happy meadows or dark valleys, as long as I'm arm in arm with Him, all is well.  The wicked has no power here.

Ruby Tuesday

 

New feature here at jenuine ruby:  Ruby Tuesdays!  On Tuesdays, I will showcase a few favorite (ruby-hued) finds from etsy shops.  Have a ruby red item that you'd like me to feature?  Email me!  (jenuineruby@gmail.com)

bloody valentine necklace

handmade boro lampwork beads

ruby sunset

QT canvas tote

she knew love

prim coffee sleeve

celebrating pi

In our family, we like to celebrate the little things.  Last week it was one small personal victory for me, a little one who learned to tie her shoes (with double knots!) and another little one going on the potty.   Today we celebrated pi day (pi = 3.14).  Hot blackberry pie with a hefty scoop of Breyer's natural vanilla.  (and a good, strong cup of coffee, of course.)  Mmmmmm....

celebrating and remembering

Yesterday my baby turned three.  I'm not sure how it's possible that three years have already gone by since this sweet one entered our lives.  

This was my very first blog post ever, written shortly after he was born...

Two weeks ago our fourth baby was born.  The birth was amazing.  I had him at home in a waterbirth tub.  Both of our boys were born this way.  It's just coincidence that our girls were born in hospitals.  Each birth was special.  Each time a precious life joined our family.  We are truly blessed.  I have to admit though, I'm tired.  We had our first baby just days before I turned 25.  Now she's 10....

...  That was the beginning of a blog entry I started a few weeks ago.  I don't remember now why I never got a chance to finish.  Sadly, there are other things these days that I start and forget to finish.  Like laundry.

I have a friend who had her fifth baby a few months before I had our fourth.  She had always wanted six, but after number five, she kept saying "I'm getting too old for this!".  I thought that was silly.  She's a few years younger than me, and I felt great.  I had another wonderful pregnancy.  I truly love being pregnant, and even enjoy labor and delivery.  It's so amazing and incredible.  But afterwards, I feel it.  Especially this time.  Another amazing birth experience, but the contracting uterus pains afterwards (for several days) were not fun.  And engorgement was not so good either.  It took until just recently for my little guy to have a good latch so that it finally doesn't hurt so much when I feed him.  We decided even before he was born that this was our "fourth and final".  And I'm ok with that.  I love being a mom.  I love that each of our kids has their own personality and gifts.  Brooklyn is our creative one.  Our planner.  You throw out an idea and she'll run with it, planning out every detail.  Zeke is thoughtful and sensitive, and also very athletic.  He loves skateboarding, and I just learned from watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition last week, that he's into le parkour.  There's actually a name for all the crazy jumping, spinning moves he does around the house.  Mercy is a bundle of joy and energy.  And she's at that age where she's always saying something that I should be writing down.  Like the other night when she tried to climb a tree. She didn't get very far, but then she backed away and looked up at it and proclaimed, "MY God made that tree!"  Judah is very sweet and mellow.  He's starting to smile and trying to make sounds and talk to us.  But mostly he still sleeps, and when he's awake, he's very content.

Little Judah is now two months old, and I think I'm getting the hang of this, having four kids.  I'm not always on time anymore, and grocery shopping with all of them is not my favorite, but life is good.  More correctly, God is good.  He's been so sweet to me, answering so many big and simple prayers.   I'm not a great mom.  I forget things and loose my temper and don't always have clean socks for them to wear.  But I love them with all my heart and am trying to savor every moment I have with them.

 

how He loves us

 

It's Valentines Day.  And I am near the end of a divorce.  But I am living loved.  Some days God's love is so overwhelming to me.  Today I'm feeling His love in a really mighty, yet very intimate way.  His love is so perfect, and always exactly what I need.  My heart goes out to other singles today.  I pray that the amazing love of God will be so real and so present in the hearts of the lonely and broken hearted.  His love is measureless.  It is perfect and unending.  It is unconditional.  It is enough.

"measureless love" print (available in my etsy shop)

reminiscing:: my little valentines

Happy Valentines Day!  I was up early this morning, setting out Valentine treats for my kids and remembered a couple of past Valentines Days, when my boys were babies.  I found some dark lipstick, smooched them up real good and took pictures of my little Valentines.

 

Mmmm... I love love love the smell of baby's breath.  (that is, before foods are introduced.. then the smells of lots of things change.)

Zeke was my little Valentine baby in 2000.  I wonder if he'll let me put kisses all over his face today before school?

And this was Judah in 2009.  My littlest love.  Poor guy didn't sleep well last night (which means momma didn't either) he has a fever and a cough.  Lots of snuggles for this one today.

 

changes

This is me this morning. Looking forward to (and bracing myself for) some changes ahead. I try to keep things as normal and consistent for the kids as I can, but some changes now and then are necessary.  I miss being a homeschool mom, spending my days with my kids, but I am thankful for the schools my children go to and how they are adjusting.

My work schedule at Starbucks is changing this week. There are pluses and minuses to this, but I'm trying to focus on the positives. I'll be home in the early mornings now, which will allow for more prayer and Bible study time, as well as extra time to put into my business. I will be here for the kids, to get them up, make their breakfast, pack their lunches and get them off to school. I'll go into work after they're all dropped off. I have loved my opening shift at Starbucks for the last year and a half, and will really miss the rush and my favorite customers who come early... but I'll look forward to Fridays there, my one opening shift of the week from now on.

This week has been another doozy as far as being on my own and dealing with challenges that come my way (car battery died, refrigerator died, lost keys, parenting)... but I'm reminded that even though I've been forsaken by one and sometimes feel abandoned, I'm truly not alone. I'm so thankful for the friends and family that surround me and are always willing (and happy) to help. It's hard for me to ask for help sometimes and I strongly dislike having to rely on other people... but they've proven again and again that we're all in this together. I am so humbled and SO thankful. And God continues to meet my every need, and even my desires. His love is such a sweet, perfect love. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.... He restores my soul..." (Psalms 23:1, 3)

this week

Ugh! This gall bladder surgery recovery thing is kicking my booty! It's now been a week since I spent an entire day in excruciating pain leading up to my ER visit and surgery. I'm so glad I had the surgery because I know it will be better once I'm all healed... but holy moly! I'll spare you the details and just say that Vicodin is not my friend. Beware of the side affects. I've been pretty miserable the last few days. I still can't lift my little Judah, which breaks my heart when he looks up and says "hold you" with his big dark brown eyes. (That part's not because of the vicodin, but because my tummy is still healing.) I am up and about a little more... driving to take and pick up kids from school, and only the most necessary errands. I'm hoping that in a few days I'll be feeling more like myself. The hardest part is being home, making myself take it easy when I see so many things that need to be done. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love and take care of me. The kids are helping with laundry and dishes, Zeke is going to help take down the Christmas tree tomorrow, my sister and nephew went grocery shopping with me the other day so I didn't have to lift and carry everything by myself, and we've been getting meals this week from good friends. I'm counting my blessings while trying my hardest to be gentle with myself.

Pretty pathetic, I know. I'm spending my days in the Word, and reading this book, watching a few movies, art journaling and resting. Also making goals and looking forward to what's ahead. Good things are coming. I have hope.

word for 2011:: hope

Psalm 71:14

how I brought in the New Year

For months and months I've had horrible upper abdominal pain after various foods that I eat. I've cut back on fatty foods and tried to be a lot more careful about what I ate, but lately it seems that just about everything I eat brings on this pain. Last Wednesday I took my kids to a movie (we saw Tangled.. so good!) and we ate popcorn. All evening I was in pain. Usually I can go to bed and the pain is gone by morning, but this time I couldn't get comfortable all night and it was still really bad in the morning on Thursday. So I made an appointment to have it checked out... that was at 10am. My doctor sent me to ultrasound and then back to her office. It was in fact gallstones, adn my gall bladder was enflamed, so they sent me to the ER to do surgery. I was on a bed in the ER for a while, then moved to a room. I went for surgery around 7pm and it was a pretty quick operation. The did the laparoscopic procedure, so I just have a few small incisions. My sister Michelle was with me most of the day, and stayed with me until I was settled back in my room after surgery (which was around midnight because I had lot of nausea and vomitting after surgery).

I'm now recovering at Michelle's house. I'm so thankful for her and her amazing family. I am in pain (especially when I cough) but healing well and feeling loved.

I had big plans of staying up and celebrating the end of 2010 and welcoming the New Year with open arms... instead I was tucked away in my niece's bedroom sleeping soundly as the clock struck midnight. I may not have been awake to welcome the new year, but I am excited to see what this year holds and ready to receive what it has in store.