changes

This is me this morning. Looking forward to (and bracing myself for) some changes ahead. I try to keep things as normal and consistent for the kids as I can, but some changes now and then are necessary.  I miss being a homeschool mom, spending my days with my kids, but I am thankful for the schools my children go to and how they are adjusting.

My work schedule at Starbucks is changing this week. There are pluses and minuses to this, but I'm trying to focus on the positives. I'll be home in the early mornings now, which will allow for more prayer and Bible study time, as well as extra time to put into my business. I will be here for the kids, to get them up, make their breakfast, pack their lunches and get them off to school. I'll go into work after they're all dropped off. I have loved my opening shift at Starbucks for the last year and a half, and will really miss the rush and my favorite customers who come early... but I'll look forward to Fridays there, my one opening shift of the week from now on.

This week has been another doozy as far as being on my own and dealing with challenges that come my way (car battery died, refrigerator died, lost keys, parenting)... but I'm reminded that even though I've been forsaken by one and sometimes feel abandoned, I'm truly not alone. I'm so thankful for the friends and family that surround me and are always willing (and happy) to help. It's hard for me to ask for help sometimes and I strongly dislike having to rely on other people... but they've proven again and again that we're all in this together. I am so humbled and SO thankful. And God continues to meet my every need, and even my desires. His love is such a sweet, perfect love. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.... He restores my soul..." (Psalms 23:1, 3)

this week

Ugh! This gall bladder surgery recovery thing is kicking my booty! It's now been a week since I spent an entire day in excruciating pain leading up to my ER visit and surgery. I'm so glad I had the surgery because I know it will be better once I'm all healed... but holy moly! I'll spare you the details and just say that Vicodin is not my friend. Beware of the side affects. I've been pretty miserable the last few days. I still can't lift my little Judah, which breaks my heart when he looks up and says "hold you" with his big dark brown eyes. (That part's not because of the vicodin, but because my tummy is still healing.) I am up and about a little more... driving to take and pick up kids from school, and only the most necessary errands. I'm hoping that in a few days I'll be feeling more like myself. The hardest part is being home, making myself take it easy when I see so many things that need to be done. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love and take care of me. The kids are helping with laundry and dishes, Zeke is going to help take down the Christmas tree tomorrow, my sister and nephew went grocery shopping with me the other day so I didn't have to lift and carry everything by myself, and we've been getting meals this week from good friends. I'm counting my blessings while trying my hardest to be gentle with myself.

Pretty pathetic, I know. I'm spending my days in the Word, and reading this book, watching a few movies, art journaling and resting. Also making goals and looking forward to what's ahead. Good things are coming. I have hope.

word for 2011:: hope

Psalm 71:14

how I brought in the New Year

For months and months I've had horrible upper abdominal pain after various foods that I eat. I've cut back on fatty foods and tried to be a lot more careful about what I ate, but lately it seems that just about everything I eat brings on this pain. Last Wednesday I took my kids to a movie (we saw Tangled.. so good!) and we ate popcorn. All evening I was in pain. Usually I can go to bed and the pain is gone by morning, but this time I couldn't get comfortable all night and it was still really bad in the morning on Thursday. So I made an appointment to have it checked out... that was at 10am. My doctor sent me to ultrasound and then back to her office. It was in fact gallstones, adn my gall bladder was enflamed, so they sent me to the ER to do surgery. I was on a bed in the ER for a while, then moved to a room. I went for surgery around 7pm and it was a pretty quick operation. The did the laparoscopic procedure, so I just have a few small incisions. My sister Michelle was with me most of the day, and stayed with me until I was settled back in my room after surgery (which was around midnight because I had lot of nausea and vomitting after surgery).

I'm now recovering at Michelle's house. I'm so thankful for her and her amazing family. I am in pain (especially when I cough) but healing well and feeling loved.

I had big plans of staying up and celebrating the end of 2010 and welcoming the New Year with open arms... instead I was tucked away in my niece's bedroom sleeping soundly as the clock struck midnight. I may not have been awake to welcome the new year, but I am excited to see what this year holds and ready to receive what it has in store.

get your paint on ecourse!

I'm so excited about this new ecourse by Mati McDonough and Lisa Congdon! It's called Get Your Paint on and is going to be a five week online painting class. Read more about it here.

I've met both of these fabulous painters... I was Mati's intern for about a year, and met Lisa through her. I love that they both got started in their artistic careers in their 30s, and they both have styles that are fun and quirky.

new coffee sleeves in my shop!

I uploaded 17 new coffee sleeves to my shop today! Go take a look! Please order by this Sunday, December 19th for Christmas deliveries! These make great stocking stuffers, especially when paired with a gift card to a favorite coffee shop!

giving thanks

This Thanksgiving, and many other days, I remind myself and my kids that even though things have not gone as we would have liked lately, we still have plenty to be thankful for (and then we go on to list several things we're grateful for and try to keep our focus on our blessings). All our feelings of loss, disappointment, hurt, sadness, even anger at times are valid. I'm teaching my kids that it's totally normal and okay to feel each of the feelings we have.. but then to talk about them, pray about them and release them, so that we don't become bitter. God wants us to have joy-filled lives. We can choose to focus on the pain, or we can determine to focus on the positive. I choose joy. (Disclaimer: I struggle too sometimes, and I have to remind myself just like I do my kids. I'm so thankful for them.. I keep going and choosing joy because that's what I want for them, and I know they learn best by example.)

One of the things I'm most thankful for right now is the love of friends and family. Here are some pictures of our family at Thanksgiving.

My sister Michelle and her husband Mark. They were the hosts of this year's Thanksgiving festivities. I'm the middle of three sisters, and we take turns hosting each year.

It's become a tradition to play this silly game we call "Pluck the turkey". Brooklyn cut out a bunch of paper feathers, and we taped them all over Mark and Michelle. They run around the backyard "gobbling" while the kids chase them and try to pluck their feathers!

My niece Emily (17), third from the left above, had just finished this art project on her bedroom wall. She wallpapered an entire wall with scrapbook papers. I love how colorful and bright it is!

Between the three of us we have 10 children, ranging in ages from 17 to 2. They're all very close and have so much fun when we're together.

I had to work the next morning (Black Friday) at 3:00am! (I usually start at 4:00, but we had to get there early for the eager shoppers!) My kids stayed the night at my sister's house and we all got together again later for some go-cart fun.

Sisters... that's me on the left, Michelle and Kelly.

Oldest and youngest ready to ride! (Judah LOVED it!)

Kelly and I took a turn too. I'm not sure why I let her drive first... I guess it's because I'm the nice one! =)

My brother-in-laws are the best! Black Friday this year also happened to be our anniversary. Last year at this time I had no idea I'd be mourning on this day, our 16th wedding anniversary. Some very dear friends knew it would be a hard day and brought me flowers at work, and later when I was with my family, my brother-in-laws went out to buy me flowers too. They're the best.

A few days later, I was at a meeting and Michelle was going to watch the kids. Instead of taking them to her house, they stayed at our house and put up some Christmas lights for us! My nieces even chipped in some of their allowance to help buy the lights! Such a nice surprise!!! The girls also made hot chocolate from scratch... so I came home to a bright, smelly good home! I am so thankful.

song of the day:: At the Foot of the Cross

boys just wanna have fun

Tonight my 11 year old son told me about some prank calls he, his cousin and his friend made a few weeks ago. I asked when they did this, and he informed me that it was a time when they were here, at our house, using our phone book a few weeks back. I was a little surprised I was just now hearing about it. He said, "Don't worry Mom, we used *67." Apparently, if you dial *67 before making a call, it doesn't show your number on caller ID and they can't call you back.

The stories were kinda hilarious and I really couldn't get mad. I told him I made plenty of prank calls when I was a kid, and that it's good clean fun. It was kind of a nice bonding moment for us. But I decided to give him a few rules. #1. Never call 911. #2. Never scare anyone. #3. If you call someone and it annoys them, don't call them back. I also told him it was probably best that he told me about it after the fact. I told him in this case, it's probably best not to ask permission because it might put me in an awkward position and I might have to say no.

Any other rules I should have thought of?

my loves

My silly kids and me. Oh how I love them!

I wanted an updated family picture of the kids and I, so my sister took some for us yesterday. It's challenging to get four kids to be still, look at the camera, and smile like they mean it when they'd rather be playing with cousins... but we got some good ones. 

beauty.
such a sweet boy. for real.
full of joy.
This little guy and his dark brown eyes. He melts me every time.

Learning to be a single mom isn't easy... but these children are amazing. I am blessed.