treasure your treasure.

treasure your treasure. print available in my shop

A reminder.

The word treasure  is both a verb and a noun.  

treasure (noun): a very valuable object, a person whom one loves, valuable, precious item, gem, angel, star, find, one of a kind, one in a million

treasure (verb):  keep carefully (a valuable or valued item), cherish, hold dear, prize, value greatly, adore, dote on, love, be devoted to

This is a reminder to treasure (verb) your treasure (noun). When I say "you" here, I'm talking to myself too. As in cherish, value, and nurture your loved ones and your relationships with them. Enjoy and savor your time together. Be present. Look them in the eye. Listen with focused attention. Don't take them for granted. Let them know how much they mean to you. I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can't say, "I love you" too many times or too often. Maybe they already know, but it sure doesn't hurt to hear it. But even more than saying it, you should show it. Spend time doing activities that your kids enjoy. Watch their games and other events. Play games with them. Read to them. Have dance parties in the living room. Sing loud in the car together. Eat dinner as a family, around the table, talking about the highs and lows of your day. Spend time with your better half. Quality time, like going for a walk or talking over coffee. Cook together. Dream together. Talk about the little things. And definitely the big things. Invest in your relationship. Not just with material things and time, but also with your whole heart. Risk being vulnerable for the sake of being closer. 

We don't know how much time we have with our loved ones, but let's make the time we do have count. They're worth it, don't you think?

new school year

My kids started their new school year yesterday. This year I have two in high school, as junior and a freshman. I love their relationship. They did their share of arguing when they were little, but now they are so close. They tease each other and sometimes annoy one another, but they love each other and enjoy doing things together. They look out for each other and are really good friends. Makes my momma heart so happy.

And my little ones.  3rd and 1st graders. I was so impressed with my Mercy when she found out that her two favorite friends would not be in her class.  She said, "It's ok. Making new friends is kind of a talent of mine. My whole class will be my friends." Since preK, Mercy has been to a new school every year until now (Zeke has too). They all had a good first day, love their teachers and their new school campus (same school, different campus). One of the things I love about the school they go to is the sense of community and parent involvement. They require parents to volunteer a certain number of hours throughout the year and the teachers welcome help in the classroom all the time. At this point, my work schedule is such that I can be available during the week to be at school with them sometimes. 

It also affords me the time to put into my handmade business. I've been setting goals and have been planning and making some new things... there will be a shop update and more regular writing very soon. 

flash sale for Mother's Day!

I had an inquiry on Instagram, asking if I had any specials for Mother's Day, so I decided on a spontaneous flash sale! Buy any print and get a second print FREE! Just purchase one, and leave a note when you check out, letting me know which one you would like FREE! Buy two, get two FREE, etc. Order by midnight tonight and I'll ship tomorrow afternoon.  Visit my etsy shop here!

pressed but not crushed.

There's a song that I've heard a hundred times on KLOVE.  One of those songs you hear and mindlessly sing along to until one day you stop and pay attention to the lyrics.  The song was This is Only a Mountain by Jason Castro.  Here's the video from YouTube:

I was honestly a little offended the first time I really realized what I was singing along to.  Only a mountain?  Doesn't he know how big my mountain is?  But really it's so true.  "This is only a mountain, you don't have to find your way around it.. Tell it to move, it'll move.  Tell it to fall, it'll fall.  This is only a moment, you don't have to let your fear control it.  Ask like you believe, trust like you can see.." At the end of the song it says, "even when it looks big, even when you feel small, just a little bit of faith can change it all." I'm so guilty of taking my mountain on, trying to figure it out on my own.  But you know what?  It's exhausting.  I was never meant to carry the weight of the world (or even my little corner of it) on my shoulders.  All I really have to do is lay it down.  Matthew 11:28 says, Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Weary and burdened... yep.  Rest for my soul... sounds like exactly what I need.  My boyfriend texted this Scripture to me this morning:  "Trust God from the bottom of your heart;  don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;  He's the One who will keep you on track."

"pressed but not crushed.  print available in my shop"

This is a painting I did a few years ago, and it sits beside my bed.  I see it everyday but don't really pay attention.  This morning, I read and decided to hold onto what it says, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;  perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted but not abandoned;  struck down, but not destroyed... Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)  

"Light and momentary troubles".. again, it almost feels offensive.  I don't think Paul (or Jason Castro) meant to belittle the circumstances we face.  But in the bigger picture, our mountains and troubles are  part of our journey, and once we're on the other side, they don't seem quite so big anymore.  

I don't know what kind of mountains you may be facing, but I do know this: God sees your mountain. And more importantly, He sees you. You are not alone. I don't know whether He's going to carry you over it, or make a way for you around it... but I do know that He will be with you every step of the way. Seek Him. Trust Him. He will provide rest for your weary soul.

chocolate chip pancakes

It's a chocolate chip morning here today.  Every so often, you just need chocolate chip pancakes.  I decided to share the love and let you in on my super-simple-not-so-secret recipe.

Sometimes I make pancakes from scratch.  But I'll be honest.. most days, especially school and work days, I start with a (just add water) mix.  I don't measure anything (This drives my sister crazy. When she asks for measurements, I usually just shrug and say, "However much.")  I scoop some mix into a bowl, add water and whisk, adding more water until the consistency seems right, and then I add the magic.  I like to add a little extra love to my pancakes, in the form of vanilla and almond extracts.  This is the base of pretty much every version of pancakes I make... then I stir in the final ingredient, which today was chocolate chips, but could also be blueberries, bananas, etc.

         

                           Yum!

shop update + cyber Monday sale!

Happy December!  I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We spent the day enjoying family, cooking, and feasting on fantastic food.  We have so much to be thankful for, most of all being surrounded by loved ones.

I've been busy making things over the last few weeks. Pouring my heart out into the things that I sew and paint, and trying to add to my income through sales in my shop.  I updated my etsy shop a few days ago with new purses and prints.  Please feel free to pin any of these images on Pinterest, just be sure and link back to this post.

I have a Cyber Monday deal for you!  Everything in my shop is 20% now through tomorrow!  This is a great time to purchase these new purses and prints.  Also, be sure and scoop up a few coffee sleeves... they make great teacher gifts or stocking stuffers!

Use coupon code CYBERMONDAY2013 during checkout to save 20% on your order!

let it go. part 2

A few days ago I listed this print in my etsy shop. When I created this piece, it came from what I shared in my last post, about surrendering and letting go.

Last week was a rough one for me. Sometimes out of the blue, something inside me is triggered and I realize that I'm still broken and fragile in some areas. I was in a group of ladies last week when this started. I knew most of the ladies and they know me. They know my story and my marital status. There were a few women I had never seen before, and we went around the room introducing ourselves. After a couple of ladies shared, each one included how long they'd been married. One lady said she had five children, and then added, "and I'm married", which made everyone laugh.  Like of course she's married if she has all those kids. And it made me want to run. I didn't want my turn to come, to have to say that I'm a single mom. I know it seems ridiculous. I know most of these ladies. They're family. They've been with me through it all. But I hate that being divorced is part of who I am. I know it doesn't really define me, and it's not all that I am, but it is part of me now. I had to fight back tears and take a deep breath when my turn came, and I got through it. I went home that night and read the first chapter of the book for our study, Unglued. In the acknowledgments, the author, Lysa Terkeurst recognizes her "favorites" and lists her husband and children.  She then states, "You are the answers to the prayers I prayed as a little girl". And my tears flowed freely this time. I had dreams and prayers as a little girl too, and being divorced was never a part of that. I came from a broken family and I never wanted that for my children. I hate that we have to split up holidays and that feeling in my gut when I kiss and hug tight my little ones after  driving an hour and a half to drop them off to visit their dad every other weekend. There is nothing in me that wishes to still be with my ex-husband, but I hate what divorce does to families and that my kids have to deal with the affects. This was not part of the dream.

God has brought a lot of healing and restoration in the last three years, but I realize there are still some areas of tenderness. It's never fun when these things surface, but I'm thankful because it's only when things are surfaced that they can be healed. Sometimes the things we need to let go of are bigger than we are.  Sometimes they are dreams that we've held for a long time. Good dreams. God is all about families and wants them to stay together. But we live in a broken world and people make wrong choices. Divorce was not part of my plan and it's not what God wanted for us. But He can make beautiful things out of brokenness. 

Sometimes there are other tragedies like sickness and loss of loved ones or company downsizing and layoffs that kill our dreams. But when one dream ends, if we let it go, a new dream can be birthed in us. We don't always understand why good dreams have to die, but we can trust that God's dreams are bigger and better than ours and decide to trust Him.  Even though I've come a long way in three years, it was just last week that I realized I still needed to let go of the dream of having a traditional family. To really move forward means to really let go. I accepted the fact that our marriage ended long ago, but I still held on to the feelings of it's not fair for the kids and this isn't how it's supposed to be. I've been telling my kids all along that things may not look like we wanted them to, but it can still be good.  I've assured them that God still has a plan for us.  I've said these things and believed them to be true, but deep inside I think I still felt guilty and wished it didn't have to be this way for them. There is nothing I can do to change what's happened, but I can move forward into the new dreams God has for us.

We are complete in Him. He is the perfect Father, Protector, Provider and Lover of our souls. His love has carried us and at the end of the day when my strength and energy are gone, He is my strength. I didn't really imagine myself being with someone else, and definitely didn't want to go through the dating scene, looking for someone.  But when I least expected it, God brought an amazing, loving, patient, strong and steady man into my life. We both went through similar situations and worked through the healing process on our own before we ever noticed each other or came together. He's someone I've been acquainted with for a long time and it all started very slowly and naturally. The last year with him has been so real and beautiful. It's not always easy but it's definitely worth it. New dreams have been born and it's exciting to see what God has in store for us and our children. This is definitely not what either of us had planned, but we are so thankful that God has brought us together and for the new dreams He's given us. Like I said, I am complete in who I am in God. It's not that I need a man to complete me, but he's icing on the cake. And let's face it... the icing is the sweetest part, that's why I always go for the corner piece! =) Not what I was looking for or expected, but a beautiful surprise. I've let go of my dreams to pursue and fully embrace God's dreams for me.

let it go. part 1

One of the things I've learned in this journey I've been on since my marriage ended is that it's ok to feel things like sadness, anger, regret, fear, rejection, discouragement, etc. It used to be that when things went wrong and I started to feel what I would have labeled a negative emotion, I would quickly chase it away and try to magically feel happy again. I've always thought of myself as an optimist, and try to find the good in things. But when something really huge and life altering happens, you kind of realize that you can't just magically make your feelings disappear. I started watching Lost on Netflix around the time my ex-husband left, and as silly as it may sound, I learned an important lesson from the show that I'm still grateful for. It must have been the first or second episode, just after the plane crashed on the beach. Jack recounted a time when he was full of fear just before he was to perform a risky surgery. He was given the advice to feel the fear in all its intensity for one full minute, and then let it go and move forward. He took the advice and after allowing himself to feel the fear, he was able to let go and focus, successfully performing the surgery at hand.  

I've found that to be helpful advice when faced with fears, doubts, disappointments, sorrow, anger, etc. Instead of rejecting the feelings and trying to make them just disappear, I've learned to allow myself to feel these things, even feel them deeply for a time, and then I'm able to surrender the feelings and let them go. I used to pray for God to take my feelings away. Now I let myself feel them and work through them. Instead of asking God to take them away, I ask Him to heal me. I tell Him how I feel, even when it isn't pretty (He already knows anyway). He created us and He gave us emotions. They're not wrong, even if we see them as negative. They're just evidence that healing needs to take place. So now when I'm sad or frustrated or feeling defeated, I feel it. And I pray through it and sometimes talk it through with someone I trust. And then I let it go. It's so important to let it go after feeling it, because if we don't, it will turn into bitterness. I can feel anger, but I don't want to become an angry person. I can feel sadness, but I don't want to become depressed. I can feel hurt, but I don't want to stay there. I want to move forward into healing. Sometimes I may feel like I've failed, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure. I'm a work in progress as long as I don't get stuck in those feelings.  

Sometimes things happen that are just not fair. It's ok to feel that way... and then let it go.

Sometimes people hurt us. It's completely normal (and even good, in my opinion) to feel all the emotions that come with being hurt. But instead of acting and responding in those feelings, we can pray through them and let them go. We can ask God to transform those feelings into compassion and pray for the one who hurt us. It's easier to write about than to practice, but with time it gets easier and can become a natural response.

Sometimes we blow it. This one is hard for me. I'm hard on myself and tend to feel like a failure. But that's not truth. I can feel the regret and remorse, but then surrender those feelings and ask God to remind me of truth. Then I can let it go and move forward.  

We can't move forward when we're wallowing in self pity or anger. Our feelings may be warranted and they're always valid, but they have to be temporary so they don't control us or change who we are and how we respond to things.

Sometimes it helps to have something visual to help us remember things that God is teaching us. This is what was on my heart when I painted this.

"Let it Go" print available in my etsy shop.

Your feelings matter. They are valid and they are often justified. But if you hold on to them, they'll make you ugly from the inside out.

Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Let it go. Surrender it to the Lord and He will replace your sorrow for joy, your mourning for dancing, and your fear, anger and worry for peace.

beauty in the broken

Do you ever read something or hear something that just resonates with you so much, that helps you process and identify things that you really didn't even know you were feeling and needed to process? Or maybe you know there's something, but you can't quite put a finger on it?  And then you hear a song, or listen to a message, or read a devotional or a blog post and it all comes into focus?  That happened to me this morning and I wanted to share it, just in case it might help someone else the way it did me. 

Sometimes I feel great.  I know my worth, I feel confident and peaceful and full of joy.  But sometimes I feel like an absolute mess.  Like I should have it all together by now, like I'm still broken and overly  sensitive, like even a glance in the mirror reminds me of all my flaws, and like I have nothing good to offer anybody.

That's how I felt this morning.  My feelings were hurt, financial stress was weighing me down, there were grounds in the coffee, and I felt ugly and exhausted.  And then I read this post on Ann Voskamp's blog:

When You are Broken: The Now-Traumatic Disorder of Everyday Life

When I got to this part:  

… and you feel like something’s broke.

Like the world’s gone mad, like your heart and head have just up and shattered over night and you are sitting in a mess trying to put the pieces together again and we all get old and there’s no defying it and you aren’t all you want to be and neither is anyone you love.

I really started to pay attention.  Because although her life and circumstances are very different from mine, we all feel the same things from time to time.  We are not alone.  We all get weary.  For me it's not about an upcoming birthday, but it may be subconsciously about a date on the calendar that means it's been three years, and this is not what I had pictured.  

I know that God is working in ways that I cannot see and when I am discouraged, I find hope in His Word.  

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.  (Romans 8:26-28, The Message)

It's like I told my kids three years ago, and I still remind them now and then:  Even though this is not what we planned or ever wanted, God can turn it into something good.  He specializes in taking broken pieces and arranging them into something new and beautiful.  Things will never be the same as they once were, but we are not ruined.  We are being made into something new.  Sometimes the process is long and hard, and even painful, but He's doing a good work.  It will be worth it in the end, but it's also worth it now.  Because in the waiting and in the process, He holds us so tenderly.  He loves us in ways that we only get to experience through brokenness.  It's humbling and hard and so beautiful all at the same time.

When we feel unlovable, His perfect and unfailing love reminds us that we are His treasure.  When we blow it, He restores us with His amazing grace and mercy.  When we are heavy laden, He gives us rest. NOTHING can separate us from His love.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? …

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us…. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth – 

nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8

If you haven't yet, I encourage you to go read Ann's blog post. It's also about wanting to be found and  letting yourself be loved. I'm still getting the hang of this.  It's challenging, but also rewarding. And so very worth it.

pressed, but not crushed.

Jesus Calling May 8

There's a devotional book I read every morning called Jesus Calling. I'm always amazed at the timing. Like whatever I happen to be facing, it seems like the reading for that day is exactly what I need. And I know many others have said the same. Today was no different. It was a good reminder that though in this world we will have trouble (John 16:33), God's presence is enough to get us through. It's been a rough week with trouble abounding. But I have been so blessed by God's love poured out by others.  

"pressed but not crushed", available in my shop

Sometimes I get discouraged. Sometimes I feel like more of a burden than a blessing to those around me. So I have to fight. I fight the lies and search for truth. I won't be defined by my troubles, I will rise above them. I may be hard pressed, but I'm not crushed. I may be perplexed, but I won't despair. I can't lose heart. These are just light and momentary troubles in the grand scheme of things. What really matters is my character and how I respond to the trouble. There may be a lot of things that are uncertain, but one thing I know:  my Redeemer lives. His love is so amazing. And he takes really good care of us. I don't like needing help, but it seems those who have come alongside really don't mind, and may even be happy to offer their time and assistance. I am blessed indeed.